Wednesday, October 5, 2011

It's DeCAFFinated!

Pals, it's that time in the afternoon when I want to go to sleep because I have worked so hard*. Usually by now I have read essentially the entire internet and I just want to go home, change into my home pants and watch TV like it is my job. This is also the point in my day when I have a conversation with myself that goes something like this:

OMG I'm sooo tired. I don't know how I can possibly continue wasting my time for the next two hours at work. Oh I know, I'll go get some  coffee! That sweet delicious nectar will save my life and automatically I will be revitalized and work will become more bearable!

Don't you dare! How stupid can you be? It's 3pm! You'll be up all night!
How dare you question my decisions! Shut up, cow!

But Mia, think clearly. You know you will just stay up until 2am watching old celebrity commercials on Youtube. And then at 3am you'll decide to scrub your bathtub and then at 4am you'll try on your old prom dress and cry for a while about how it won't zip up. And then at 5am you will start doing sit ups to remedy that situation and then when your alarm goes off at 6am you will cry and die.
Girl, shut your whore mouth! I must have coffee! And a donut! This is the best idea ever! I'm going to twirl now! Weeeeeeeee!
And then I get both a coffee and a donut and inevitably regret all of it later on around the time I am weeping uncontrollably in my prom dress.

PS. Have you seen Lauren Bacall's 1981 commercials for High Point coffee? I discovered them while I was in college and they are amazing. Watch them all! Fun fact: Emma Stone's character quoted them in Crazy, Stupid, Love

*I do not work hard.

1 comment:

mia c said...

i laughed my face off reading this (at 6 a.m., in the dark)