Wednesday, September 21, 2011

One Stop Shop

As you all know, I absolutely do not approve of furnishing your home-or even one room-all from one store. But if you are given a million dollar gift card or an employee discount or are forced at gunpoint to decorate from one source, just try to do a decent job, ok? Here's what you do:

1) Choose a variety of styles- if everything looks alike it will be painfully obvious that you bought it all from the same place
2) Find pieces that look old or weathered-anything that can pass for an antique automatically makes you look like a fancy designer/antique hunter extraordinaire.
3) Mix patterns and textures-visual intrigue is important!
4) Don't go crazy with trendy items-if everything is covered with guns or mustaches, you might as well slap on a sign that says 'this room courtesy of Urban Outfitters'. Are you a frat boy? If you are, you have no business reading this blog.
5) Simplify your look with a base layer of neutral colors- neutrals can look more sophisticated and therefore more expensive than a lot of brightly-colored items.

Whatever you do, don't buy a bedroom set! Bedroom sets (or any 'set' for that matter) are made for housewives in the Midwest who furnish their living rooms from Sears catalogs left over from the early '90s. Bedroom sets are for people who are lazy and what do we do with lazy people? We kill them. We kill them a lot.*

All items shown above are from Urban Outfitters

*This is a lie. We do not kill them. We judge them. Harshly. Not so different.**
**Yes! Different! Oh hell.